troubled mind

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Posts by troubled mind

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  100

  Exposing one's identity. When?

  by kairos in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been toying with the idea of just coming out and posting my name and location as an attempt to be available to locals that secretly browse the forum that have known me for up to 25 years.

  ( "reaching out", so to speak ).

  i'm not da'd or df'd, so this most certainly could end in a dramatic confrontation.

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  troubled mind

  Kairos ,

  A cease and desist letter is different than a restraining order . In the USA a restraining order has to go through a Judge in court . You have to testify before a Judge and there must be proof of threatening behavior .
  

  Here is what worked for me : A cease and desist letter is much more simple ,and in this case usually just as effective . My local Police even suggested it to me . The Officer I spoke to told me to make a copy of my letter ,and to file it with them . He also said to send the letter to the Elders ,and send it certified . After they received notice if they made any more contact to report it back to the Police station ,which I did, and they would explain what cease and desist means to the Elders ,(which they did). It helps to include in the letter that you are sending it per legal advice .He explained it really does not hold that much legal weight when it comes down to it ,but in this case it is usually enough to make them stop annoying you .
  

  I live in a small town ,and that may be why the Police were so helpful . If you don't get the same kind of help ,you may want to consider using your own personal lawyer to help draft a letter . All I know is that after I sent my letter the harassment stopped ,which is all I ever wanted ....to be left alone in peace . I have no idea what has been said to others at the hall ,and I do not care . Most Witnesses shun me in public ,but a few still say Hi once in a while .
  
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  100

  Exposing one's identity. When?

  by kairos in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been toying with the idea of just coming out and posting my name and location as an attempt to be available to locals that secretly browse the forum that have known me for up to 25 years.

  ( "reaching out", so to speak ).

  i'm not da'd or df'd, so this most certainly could end in a dramatic confrontation.

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  troubled mind

  Deep breaths ,count to ten ......relax . Please I am worried for you ,and your wife that this stress is going to affect your health !

  I am glad your wife is seeking therapy ....can you go with her also as in couples therapy ? This would be good so that you can get to the heart of the problem ...the religious negative control in your lives.

  Don't let the Elders to continue to harass you . If you have faded for two years ,and have no desire to return to the Kingdom Hall,then you no longer have anything left to discuss with them ...so don't . Do not let them suck anymore life or energy from you . The next call firmly tell then NO MORE CONTACT !

  Your wife will have to come to her own conclusions .For your part focus on making your marriage priority ,she may be under the impression that with out religious unity it is doomed to fail ....this is just not true ! Just one more fallacy the JW org.promotes to keep members under their thumb and in fear.

  May I suggest :
  

  Try sending a certified cease ,and desist letter to the Kingdom Hall .Keep it short and to the point . You feel they are ignoring your request to be left alone ,and this is unacceptable .State what you want .No more calls ect. Then make a copy for the local police station and file it with them (Make sure the Elders know this ) It also helps to state in the letter that you are writing this under the advice of legal counsel.
  

  Knowing they can not call or show up unannounced at your door can give you a world of peace .I hope the best for you and your wife .
  
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  12

  The recent Royal Commission hearings have stirred up my emotions ....

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i hope the royal commission will be able to force the jw organization to take a serious look at itself ,and will cause some much needed changes.. i have been following the trial faithfully ,and unfortunately it has dredged up some deep pains from years ago .

  you think some of that old baggage is neatly packed away never meant to see the light of day again .....but then boom there it is again .. hearing what bcg had to go through, and how she felt trying to get help from the elders was heart-wrenching.

  i remember the terrible way young women were treated in the 1970's .

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  troubled mind

  I hope the Royal commission will be able to force the JW organization to take a serious look at itself ,and will cause some much needed changes.

  I have been following the trial faithfully ,and unfortunately it has dredged up some deep pains from years ago . Do you know how that is ? You think some of that old baggage is neatly packed away never meant to see the light of day again .....but then BOOM there it is again .

  Hearing what BCG had to go through, and how she felt trying to get help from the Elders was heart-wrenching.

  I remember the terrible way young women were treated in the 1970's . I honestly don't think much has changed ...or at least not enough has changed .

  I know what it was like to be a very young impressionable girl (14-15 yrs of age) ,and to sit in front of a committee of three older men being asked deeply personal questions about sexual matters . How humiliating that is ....how traumatizing it is to think these men are directed by God ,but are asking such embarrassing private questions.

  I was not even baptized yet ,but I was a publisher .
  

  Do you understand what it feels like to be beaten down and disgusted with yourself inside ,and then have this supposed religious leader say to you ,"If you were baptized you would be disfellowshipped ! You show no remorse at all .Don't you care that you hurt your Mother ,that you hurt God by your immoral choices ."..... All of this because I acted numb instead of crying and bawling in front of them . I remember thinking to myself then ,'How dare you assume I have no remorse ! You don't know me ,you don't know what I have been through so far in my life .'

  These men ,my Mother trusted so emphatically as worthy to judge her daughter . This was suppose to be a spiritual healing ?

  They told me that I was now damaged goods ......Yes they actually said 'damaged'.

  They told me that when I dated again that it was my duty to inform any future suitor that I was no longer a virgin ....because he had the right to know . I should be grateful if the young man decided to accept me. ( Yes I really believed I was somehow broken and unworthy .This is how brain washing works)
  

  These men caused more trauma than they know . They had no right to speak to me that way . Elders then ,and NOW are not trained to deal with these sensitive matters . They are not educated on why young girls that have been abused may act out .They certainly have no clue on how to appropriately address what emotional ,mental problems she may be dealing with .

  When it comes to sexual matters ,and underage children ,they need to leave it to Professionals .

  Hearing the testimonies of these sniveling liars makes me sick ,but reaffirms my belief that they are in a cult . I am so glad to be free of all that now.

  I will go now ,and neatly pack away the hurtful memories ,and move on into the glorious freedom of accepting myself.
  
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  30

  Just for the record Vincent Toole and Terrence Obrien you are both lying SOBs

  by joe134cd in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i just thought i would mention this on the off chance they might be lurking here.

  the two quotes are.

  (1)vincent toole ="i've never heard of the term 'theocratic warfare'".

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  troubled mind

  I would also like to add to my other comment this experience :

  When I was still active I was friends with a woman that was inactive .Several of the Elders wives would make snide remarks about this or ask personal questions about my friend . I would always tell them to call and ask her themselves .... Then one day one of my best friends, who was also an Elders wife ,told me that if I did not cut off association with the inactive sister ,then she would no longer be able to be my friend .She used the same logic as they do with DFd persons " You have to cut off association so that they will see what they are missing ".She also said if this sister is involved with worldly things than I am guilty too by association.

  So don't tell me you can just walk away !
  
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  30

  Just for the record Vincent Toole and Terrence Obrien you are both lying SOBs

  by joe134cd in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i just thought i would mention this on the off chance they might be lurking here.

  the two quotes are.

  (1)vincent toole ="i've never heard of the term 'theocratic warfare'".

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  troubled mind

  In my experience being inactive was the same as being bad association . We just stopped attending meetings after being in this same congregation for over 30yrs. The first year we had a couple of people stop by with magazines ,but if I saw them at the grocery store they avoided me. My daughter in laws best friend from childhood told her flat out she was bad association ,because she no longer attended meetings .My son came home to attend a JW funeral ,and all his childhood friends told him unless he came back to meetings they wanted nothing to do with him .(this was while he was in mourning for his lost friend.)
  

  The only contact they want with inactive ones is to invite them to memorials or special talks .Sure they may come to an inactive ones door during the ministry ,but they do not stop by just to be social or to invite them over for dinner .
  
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  82

  Quality Thinking - Warning: Long Post Ahead

  by Viviane in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  recently, several threads have had some debate about logic, evidence, critical thinking and skepticism.

  i wanted to write a post discussing those things, hopefully to clarify what those things are, why they are important and how to use those tools.

  first, logic, at its core, is simply a method for how to reason validly, how to draw conclusions based on a premise.

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  troubled mind

  I really feel left behind after reading this thread . I have so much to learn ! Where do I start ? and remember I need it to be basics first ....I was indoctrinated for 44 long years ,the last ten have been decompression ,now I need to start again.
  
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  32

  I Was Given The New Return To Jehovah Brochure

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i read it but it certainly didn't apply to me.

  nobody stumbled me or hurt my feelings.

  i just know crap when i see it.

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  troubled mind

  I don't think anyone will give me one .....they don't want me back .....

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
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  65

  [Day 4 - 31/7]The Royal Commissions investigation of child sexual abuse within Jehovah’s Witnesses. + VIDEO

  by C0ntr013r in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  by popular demand i give you day 4, and i will finally get a couple of days to sleep .

  part 1 has been uploaded and part 2,3 and 4 will soon be available.. part 1:.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lmlcdqesa0&list=plpq6kz-aghvqbadlzmqn26dvmpzddxlui&index=11.

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  troubled mind

  Thank you so much for all you have done to download these to youtube ! I have watched them all so far and am mesmerized by the Royal Commission . They have really done their research ,and there is no way the wool will be pulled over their eyes . Justice Peter McClellan is my hero !
  
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  4

  Wakey wakey Jehovah's Witnesses! Your real world is being exposed

  by Half banana in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  the posts here are flooding in on the subject of the watchtowers toleration of sexual abuse being publicised in the world media.

  sure they print and say its wrong like everyone else does but what their policies show above all is the lack of genuine, humane care and considerate welfare for its members.

  there must be so many voiceless jw victims and perhaps now they can speak out..

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  troubled mind

  Did you catch the expressions on the face of the head commissioner when he asked if the Elder followed the news ? The Elder admitted he only occasionally skimmed the headlines ,and never watched the news on TV. He really came off as being ignorant ,and yet he just smiled ,and smiled as if he were some kind of celebrity . I hope Bethel is cringing .
  
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  84

  Wednesday Hearings LIVE LINK NOW

  by Mad Sweeney in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  http://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/case-study/636f01a5-50db-4b59-a35e-a24ae07fb0ad/case-study-29,-july-2015,-sydney.

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  troubled mind

  Did they all just leave the room to collectively beat their heads against a brick wall ??? That's what I feel like doing listening to him talk in circles .